Kaiden Blake

   
    My eighteenth birthday came and passed, and every thing in my life has been peachy-keen since then, or so we'd all like to think, correct?

    On January 9th, an awkward birthday gathering containing the few members of the family we have left flooded my evening. It was a humbling evening, and I do not think I would have traded it in for a grandeouse night if I were given the opportunity. We ate, and the singing pursued afterwards, and it was time for birthday candles. My mother had forgotten to buy candles, so a lighter had sufficed. She held the lighter before me, and everyone chanted "blow it out," and I realized in that moment, it was the beginning of an end. This was, in fact, the perfect birthday setting. My life has never been filled with a glamorous presentation, crammed with the finest amemnities, but rather has flirted on the borderline time and time again. This make-shift candle, which I blew the flame before conjuring a randomized wish, finally tied the knot of my childhood. I didn't need to wish. The wishes in my life have always pertained to the idea of not having to make a wish in the first place. This isn't my fairytale ending, though that fits in with the rest of my life; an abstract, yet two-dimensional evening. The helium balloon is still afloat in the corner of my room - I suppose some things last longer than we expect.

    In the days leading up until now, strange occurances and realizations bring me to exhaustion. Last night I had gone to my very first club. It was an interesting sort of feeling to finally be old enough to participate; I felt as if a bodygaurd would come up to me and kick me out and I'd be four years old all over again. Well, I secretly wish that would happen; time seems to be churning forward faster than ever lately. I have always been an old soul, but my vehicle for this life has always remained young - to change that, seems too surreal to be true. It's euphoria in a state of mind I had never previously traveled to.

    I am a canvas, unearthed from the ground. Too tired to be found. Dust, arise, settle down. Ashes to ashes, it's only rain.