Kaiden Blake

Today (or yesterday, to be "politically" correct) was quite an eventful day. I woke up, headed out with a few friends, and picked up a few supplies for a photo shoot. We had bought dry ice, as a make-shift fog machine. It took us nearly 25 minutes to get through the self-scan checkout line; the cashier had told us stories of angry customers, scream-fests, and beatdowns that had all taken place in the wonderful world of Meijers. Four hours later, I was convinced I had Carbon Dioxide poisoning; I could hardly breathe, and after snapping over 200 photos, I called it quits. Shortly thereafter, we had gone to Noodles & Co, where I was approached by a middle-aged woman who thought I was Chris Crocker. I won't comment further on that topic. It's now late/early, depending on how you read into timing, and I am beyond ready for beauty rest.

Love always,
Kaiden

I cut off all ties that restrain me. I refrain from exertion - would you flirt with my instabilities? Capability is the key. Lacking concentration, give me frustration, for an hour of sweet contemplation. Just a minute, maybe two. If I could fly, I'd fly everywhere to exist. I would persist. I am the molted phoenix, drink my tears. Fear me, for I am not normal. Some psycho story, believe me, it reacts under the influence of pressure. Taking measures, I end this beautiful breakdown, letting go of the sound. Teeth chattering, do my intentions make you cold? Ten fold. I couldn't ask for a better imaginary friend.

On a interpretable note, Sweeney Todd lives up to all the hype, and that much more. By far, the movie and soundtrack are up there as far as favorites are concerned. I have not had the opportunity to get into the Christmas spirit. Today feels like any other day. I wish for the opportunity to feel emotion once more. Emotion that doesn't consist of the constant parabola of static in my mind.

Ah, sorry for the lack of updating lately! I've been nestled up in my room sick with the stomach flu. I'm listening to Christmas music and trying to get into the holiday spirit. It's been years since I remember being ecstatic about Christmas. That year will come once again - it's just a matter of time. Are you all going anywhere for the holidays? I know I'd personally love to get away, and forget everything about this town for at least a week or two. After the holidays, my birthday is finally coming up. The big 1.8. I swear, sometimes I already feel over the hill. If it counts for anything, with being sick, I already have bags under my eyes. If this is a preview of what's to come, I'm not looking forward to it. Anyhow, hopefully I'll be feeling better soon so I can drown you all with updates into my little world.

Much love,
Kaiden

Is beauty what we see in the mirror? Perhaps I played too many video games as a child, but everything I do throughout life I treat as a game I can excel in. Perfection is unattainable, but it is an adventure to master the art of being an illusionist. We see what we want on the outside, take what we want on the inside and choose to display it or conceal it. I am constantly changing. I am my most difficult individual in my life. These past few weeks are unexplainable. I've finally broken out of my shell a bit, but having done so, I've become a loose cannon. I wish I could call a given place a home. I yearn to be content with any aspect of my life, yet I'm always in a constant attempt to one-up myself. It's the most eerie feeling in the entire world to know that you are your own best friend. Whilst I've met many amazing people, I don't keep anyone very close. Though I am my own best friend, I am also my worst enemy. I'm in a constant struggle with myself. I've come to accept that, though it's become difficult to shuffle between divisions. My mind races at a rate in which my head spins. My thoughts become blurred, and everything skyrockets and crashes in a rapid movement. Me putting this onto paper does not do these feelings any justice whatsoever. Call it anxiety, if you must, but it does not fall into that category for my own sake. I've felt anxiety, and it is such a complex, yet simple brain process. This is much more; it is a dream that's carried throughout reality. I am going to head to bed and stop being so cryptic for the evening. I have got a splitting headache and have no idea where this little entry is going. Goodnight & much love.

We are like the leaning tower of pisa built upon rocky soil. We will collapse as easily and gracefully as we were raised up to be, unless we strengthen the foundation upon which we are built upon. We're contained in this little vesicle - a little capsule we call a body. We think we are wired so ingeniusly we have no room for setbacks, however this is not so. We need to trust ourselves, the foundation we're built upon, in order to propel forward. We live and prosper parallel to plants, with their chemistry bonded into our nature. When a leaf turns sour, the plant remains strong, but only because the root is planted so firmly into its soil. The plant trusts itself. We branch out, and put forth our trust with everyone else, yet don't give our own foundation the daylight we need to survive. When our leaves turn sour, our plant will perish. Retrospection in the form of trust can deter away from the instability within us, but we must let this happen on our own accord.

First blog. So sweepy. So exciting.

I went to B-Dubz with some pretty amazing people, then looked around for a digital camera. I want a thin, colorful one - why don't they make neon ones? Shame. We came back here, bleached and dyed hair for about the 8th time in the last month & a half. I'm surprised my brain cells are in tact. That, or they weren't to begin with. That's it. Afterwards we had a little 2:30 am Rams Horn breakfast run, minus the breakfast part. Plus Dillon's pancakes. I'm tired and delusional right now, can't type, and I'm passing out. Goodnight. Much love.

P.S. What's up with empty condom wrappers chilling in my room that aren't mine? Thanks.